Rules for Posting

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences up with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Ihate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
25. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

...And This Is Why We Drink™

This is why you lock your cars…

Get the Flash Player to see the wordTube Media Player.

Some local turds were in the neighborhood, and hit several vehicles. Notice that one was carrying a baseball bat. This video has been turned over to the local police for further investigation…

...And This Is Why We Drink™

The Incredible Shrinking Product…

Well, I went to Sam’s Club today to get some stuff, and I noticed that the old 6oz cans of chunk light tuna have been replaced with 5oz cans at the same price, an effective price increase of 20%. Then I went to get a pint of Haagen-Daz ice cream, and saw that the old pint had been reduced to 14oz, about a 12% increase in price. I couldn’t stand it any more, so I went to my local pub, ordered a pint of beer. They had replaced my 20oz imperial pint glass with a “shaker” pint glass, which is only 14oz, so with the head, I actually got about 12oz of beer, almost a 40% price increase!!! I’m going home and pouring myself a real 22oz bomber of my home brew!

...And This Is Why We Drink™

Why You Should Drink at Work

From Bloomberg Businessweek

By Claire Suddath on April 12, 2012

Here’s some good news for those of you looking forward to the weekend: A little wine or beer may make you more creative. Researchers at the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC) found that moderate alcohol consumption can reduce people’s ability to pay attention (as anyone who’s ever been drunk can attest), which frees them up for creative problem-solving tasks. In other words, after a few beers you might not be able to solve a math problem, but you may be able to answer a riddle.

Scientists at UIC administered vodka-cranberry cocktails calibrated to each participant’s body weight—which they drank while watching the animated movie Ratatouille, for some reason—until they had a blood-alcohol level of .07. They were then asked to solve math problems while remembering a series of words, which they did moderately well.

The surprise came during the second task, when they were presented with word-association problems that required more creative answers. The intoxicated participants correctly answered more problems in less time, and they described their answers as being more intuitive (an “It just came to me!” mindset) than their sober counterparts did. UIC researchers published their findings in the journal Consciousness and Cognition and theorized that alcohol caused them to pay less attention to the “distracting” first task, which gave them better access to “solution cues that would otherwise be ignored.”

So the next time you get drunk, don’t apologize for acting stupid. Just tell everyone you’re being creative.

...And This Is Why We Drink™

Soft-Serve Beer Foam By Japanese Brewery Kirin Now Available In Tokyo

From The Huffington Post

The hottest new discovery in the beer world may actually be frozen.

That’s because a team of inventors at the Japanese brewing giant Kirin have figured out how to create frozen foam and dispense it on top of a beer like soft-serve ice cream, reported.

The innovation has chilling implications for the beer industry, as the foam is frozen to 23 degrees Fahrenheit and air is continuously blown into it. When the literally ice-cold beer is placed onto regular, unfrozen beer, it acts as an insulating lid and keeps the drink cold for 30 minutes, according to

The frozen foam machine is only available in Tokyo, but The Daily Meal predicts it will soon be a hot item in the United States.

But it’s not the only ice cold innovation coming to the rescue of boozehounds.

Joseph Company International will soon be launching its West Coast Chill all-natural energy drink, which will come in a special patented “Chill Can” that can decrease the temperature of the liquid inside by 30 degrees Fahrenheit when buyers press a tab on the can, reported.

In addition, the LG appliance company recently unveiled a new refrigerator with a built-in “Blast Chiller” that can cool a can of beer or soda to ice-cold in just a few minutes.

But while companies are spending lots of money figuring out how to get beer and other beverages cold as ice, an Atlanta craft brewery called Frozen Pints has decided to focus on making a product that is literally cool, by selling ice cream made from craft beer flavors like Peach Lambic, Pumpkin Ale and Cinnamon Espresso Stout.

So far, the ice creams are only available at select events in Atlanta, but are creating such a brew-haha that the company owners hope to bring them into area stores soon.

...And This Is Why We Drink™